FOURTH BOOK: What It Means When a Man Falls from the Sky by Lesley Nneka Arimah
"What It Means When a Man Falls from the Sky" is a debut collection of twelve short stories that delve into the lives of Nigerian women and their experiences in both Nigeria and the diaspora.
“A dazzlingly accomplished debut collection explores the ties that bind parents and children, husbands and wives, lovers and friends to one another and to the places they call home.” Books – Lesley Nneka Arimah.
Note from HCJUNCTION:
Please note there is a trigger warning for parts of this book. Violence: physical, emotional, verbal abuse, including domestic violence or bullying. Sexual Content: explicit sexual assualt scenes, sexual violence, discussions of assault and harassment.
WEEK ONE SUMMARY
SHORT STORIES:
THE FUTURE LOOKS GOOD
WAR STORIES
WILD
[English version] Some of the Prompts and Questions Discussed in Ɛʋɛ - Ewe :
The Future Looks Good: What do you think about the family dynamics/history in this story?
The Future Looks Good: What do you think of the Author’s style of writing?
The Future Looks Good: Any other comments about this story?
War Stories: What are some themes or morals from this story?
War Stories: Any other comments about this story?
Wild: What did you think of this story?
Which story was your favorite and why?
We also watched a video of the author talking generally about her approach as an author HERE on YouTube.
[English version] Highlights from the Group Discussion in Ɛʋɛ - Ewe:
The Future Looks Good: You can see how the trauma/issues with each person in the family did not start with them and came from a family member before and they are just continuing to pass on the negative energy in their own way.
The Future Looks Good: Ezinma and her father deal with the trauma by being easy/people pleasers and being kind of quiet, soft, and stay behind the scenes.
The Future Looks Good: Her mother and her sister Bibi deal with it by being brash and aggressive and defensive.
The Future Looks Good: really enjoyed the writing style. It seemed lyrical in a way.
The Future Looks Good: i liked the writing style here, her writing is captivating and draws you in.
The Future Looks Good: even though it is a short story, she does a great job of making it complete while you also want more.
The Future Looks Good: the end was sad. it seemed like things were just start turning around for their family.
War Stories: one theme is to be careful about seeking justice in your own way because you may cause more harm. We see that Nwando wanted justice and when she did it her way, then she did the same thing as Anita and made a club that did not include everyone. And maybe she was worse than Anita because now boys were being inappropriate with Anita.
War Stories: Another theme is silence. Her father is silent about what bothers him from the war. Nwando is silent when she sees the boys mistreat Anita. The mother is silent because she does not want to face what is wrong and would rather change the subject.
War Stories: This one felt like a heavy heart.
Wild: It is unfortunate. I am just wondering what type of mothers will these girls become. What type of men will they choose to be their husbands. And will it be like for Jonathan to grow up in the shadow of shame?
Wild: It also brought to mind that it is easy to be truthful otherwise you will always be involved in covering things up. It is true that the truth frees you.
WEEK TWO SUMMARY
SHORT STORIES:
LIGHT
SECOND CHANCES
WNDFALLS
[English version] Some of the Prompts and Questions Discussed in Ɛʋɛ - Ewe:
Light: What did you feel or think about this story?
Light: What do you think of the line “there is this thing that distance does where it subtracts warmth and context and history and each finds that they are arguing with a stranger.”?
Second Chances: what do you think of this story? Is it real somehow? Are they hallucinating? It is magic?
Second Chances: what do you think about the personality differences between the two girls/sisters?
Second Chances: why does she feel guilty?
Second Chances: do you think she made the best of her second chance with her mother?
Windfalls: anything anyone wants to share related to this story?
We also watched a TED Talk with Misan Sagay on why everyone should write. You can watch the video HERE on YouTube.
[English version] Highlights from the Group Discussion in Ɛʋɛ - Ewe:
For the short story, “Light”, here are some of the takeaways from our group discussion:
A lot of dynamics going on that a lot of africans and immigrants can relate to from all perspectives, the perspective of the one who went abroad who is missing things, the parent who stayed behind who is trying but it is not enough, and the child that is trying to become their true self but there is so much confusion and emotions.
It brought up the difference between physical and virtual communications. Even today with video it is still missing the true connection.
A lot of people could relate to this story.
A lot of people felt or commented on sadness and selfishness in this story.
This question/statement is a great inner reflection question. This would be a great essay question. [In reference to the second question - see above].
Virtual communication misses out on the things that are part of physical communication that is talking in person. When someone communicates you can see and sense their whole being that virtual communication can sometimes miss out on.
Distance can really create more problems especially because a lot of people have a lot of preconceived conceptions in their head. And it can lead to suspicious thoughts. So when they are arguing they are actually probably not even arguing about the same things because you don’t know that their perspective is coming from an insecure thought they haven’t even said.
Especially we see in our communities the misconceptions that you are living life richly in America when you come and vice versa one side thinking they are better than the other. In fact, it doesn’t even need to be international it could be the countryside and Accra.
Distance can be an opportunity to show you what needs to be worked on in one’s relationship or relationships. You are not in the same house together. So now you get to see how healthy and strong is your communication. You get to see how good you are at listening. You get to see how strong is the spirit in the relationship. You get to put to test do you really have the same values. Do you really have the same perspective on life and how you want to raise your children. Or the type of life you want. So, distance is an opportunity to get clarity on the truth of the state of your relationship and relationships.
For the short story, “Second Chances”, here are some of the takeaways from our group discussion:
Some felt the person was dreaming and it was just a dream all of it. Some felt that all were hallucinating. Some felt that it was a miracle that God/Spirit/the Divine/Allah/Universe gave them for one day.
Some felt like this happened because it was a worry that was on her mind and in her heart.
Her sister seems to be more in tune with her heart and Spirit. And she seems more in her mind and trapped by “what is supposed to be”. So her sister can enjoy this blessing. She seems disconnected from her heart and Spirit that she cannot even overcome herself enough to tell her mom that she is sorry.
Some think the older sister is a difficult/impatient person. And the younger sister is patient.
Some said she felt guilty because she realized she didn’t like her behaviour when her mother was alive and has missed out on the opportunity to make up for it.
Some said she felt guilty because she was supposed to pick up her sister from the airport but because she didn’t, her mom went and must have gotten into an accident or something and died. And her mom was angry with her before she left because she did not go to get her sister.
Some said she did not make the best of her second chance. It seems that she is slave to the negative part of her mind and has not been able to overcome it to change her life. It seems she is always sabotaging her happiness. It is like she has been defeated by the negative voice in her mind.
Some said there were not sure if she made the best of her second chance. They felt like maybe the situation was too surprising and unexpected for her to even really understand the opportunity that was in front of her.
Some think she is still dealing with her inner struggles that she did not make the best of the situation because she is still battling.
Some also commented that this made them reflect that each day is a second chance so what can they do differently.
Some also commented that we all have a second chance to think about how we want to do things differently or rectify things.
For the short story, “Windfalls”, here are some of the takeaways from our group discussion:
Some commented that it was very disturbing and the ending was so troubling.
Some were very angry with the mother and then also questioned what must have happened in the mother’s life that made her become like that.
Some only had compassion for the daughter and did not feel any compassion for the mother no matter what happened to her.
Some commented that it seems the girl knows life should be different so we hope she will have a better life.
For Misan Sagay’s TED Talk, here are some of the takeaways from our group discussion:
Note: Misan Sagay is Nigerian and a screenwriter. Some of Misan Sagay’s accomplishments include writing the film “Belle”, transferring/bringing “Their Eyes were watching God” to film, and also the writing and the producer of the film “Secret Laughter of Women.”
One person commented that they like when Misan Sagay mentioned that we all share stories because of film. It made them think that it is nice that you can connect with someone across the world about their experience watching the movie Sarafina or the movie Sound of Music or hearing the Anansi spider stories. That is a really nice thought.
One person commented that such a great question: Who are you? What is the story that you want to tell?
One person commented and many agreed that it is important to share family stories and history amongst the family. Even if you haven’t written it, but still share it. Even the little things, just the little anecdotes are important.
One person commented that this reminded them of the quote about the hunter and the lion. Yes, there was tragedy but if you just hear the side of the colonizer, then you are missing our truths and our complete history. So it is important to tell our stories even the ones that include the tragedies so that the whole story can be told.
WEEK THREE SUMMARY
SHORT STORIES:
WHO WILL GREET YOU AT HOME
BUCHI’S GIRLS
WHAT IT MEANS WHEN A MAN FALLS FROM THE SKY
[English version] Some of the Prompts and Questions Discussed in Ɛʋɛ - Ewe:
Who will greet you at home: what did you think of this story?
Buchi’s girls: what did you think of this story?
Buchi’s girls: how would you describe Buchi, the mother, in this story?
Buchi’s girls: what do you think the author means with this phrase “there was only so much a mother could ask a daughter to bear before that bond became bondage.”? What do you think of this quote/phrase?
Buchi’s girls: what do you think of Buchi’s final decision to send her daughter to live with her friend?
What it means when a man falls from the sky: what do you think of this science fiction story?
What it means when a man falls from the sky: what do you think of the profession/skill/power of Mathematicians? Do you think what they do is wrong or good [stopping people from feeling and overcoming their grief]? Do you agree with the little boy that this is what it means to be human?
What it means when a man falls from the sky: what do you think of the profession/skill/power of Mathematicians is? Is it a miracle? Is it the person themselves letting go or releasing the grief? Or something else?
What it means when a man falls from the sky: What do you think happens to the emotion/pain?
What it means when a man falls from the sky: What choice do you think Nneoma made at the end? Did she try to heal or take away the pain of her ex-girlfriend? And if so, do you think she would be successful?
What it means when a man falls from the sky: have you read or watched other science fiction stories that take place with african characters?
From the readings this week, which short story was your favorite and why?
If you were to create an african science fiction story what would it be about?
[English version] Highlights from the Group Discussion in Ɛʋɛ - Ewe:
For the short story, “Who will greet you at home”, here are some of the takeaways from our group discussion:
One person noted the theme of difficult mother daughter relationships. Mothers who think that coddling their daughter will make them soft, so they are always brash with them.
One person noted that they thought this is a story of a young girl struggling to take care of her child without help from her own mother, with a boss taking advantage of her situation, unpleasant work environment from her coworkers, and at the end losing her child in some mysterious ways.
One person noted that because of our culture, the expectation of Mothers is for their children to get married and have children and perhaps this story is showing the lengths daughters go to or go through to fulfill that expectation. And to fulfill that expectation the culture makes it so that then the rest of society starts to profit from it or commercialize this expectation and exploiting people. And then this expectation becomes something they try to fulfill by any means necessary and how does it affect people?
These young girls are trying to do their best. And at the end we don’t even see that it was worth it.
Also, another perspective presented was that they are trying to make a human being by themselves, but they do not have that power.
For the short story, “Buchi’s Girls”, here are some of the takeaways from our group discussion:
This story brought up several emotions for some of the group members: sadness on the part of the Buchi and her girls, insecurity, also wondered why her friend, Ijeoma cannot just adopt Louisa but want her to take her dead daughter Soma's identity; Precious and husband Dickson wickedness.
Others mentioned that it is unfortunate, but it does happen. It is something that is still happening today.
One person noted what the deceased husband had said about money: “is money the most important thing?” And at the time they decided as a couple that it wasnt but now how her life is so that she realized that it is important for a healthy wellbeing and perhaps the respect that comes with it. If she had the money, her sister and brother would not be taking advantage of her like this.
Unfortunately, it shows how people respect wealth more than other things too. Knowing her sister just lost her husband you think they would have more compassion.
When it comes to Buchi’s character: some of the comments mentioned from the group include
Loving. Gentle. Resourceful. Also, resentment about how her sister treats her and her two daughters. But also, a bit defeated somehow.
She seems to be a confused and insecure individual, resigning to the situation they are in and could not figure a way out from the situation.
We don’t know if she has any other options.
She didn’t react when her brother-in-law slapped her, she didn’t react because she feels as though she has no other option.
Here are the responses to this part of the story “there was only so much a mother could ask a daughter to bear before that bond became bondage”:
Just fantastic. This is really good writing. You understand immediately what she means.
You see this in society. Children being told by their parents to just be quiet when they see something bad or don’t talk about what happens at home. That is creating chains/prison for their children. There is a difference between persevering and then starting to accept or be silent about things that are wrong and putting up with things you shouldn’t no matter what. Because then what are you teaching them?
They are being taught to contain and quiet their emotions in a harmful way.
Asking too much from your kids can cause the relationship to fracture.
There is only so much you can take.
Instead of a bond between the mother and daughter because of what the mother is asking the daughter to bear then the relationship between the mother and daughter is no longer close and has been poisoned.
So it is no longer about lets work together to get out of this situation but it becomes lets just get comfortable and quiet in this prison together.
Here are some of the responses to Buchi’s decision to send her daughter to her friend:
It is unfortunate. It is kind of a signal that she has kind of given up on life ever getting better for her and her children together.
She should have asked her friend if they can call come.
She should not have done it but rather ask Ijeoma of any other help that will not separate her from Louisa and Damaris.
Some noted that it is possible she changed her mind and didn’t send her so they hope that is what happened.
One person noted that again you see the exploitation of people even from the friend. The friend also sees how desperate she is and only gives suggestions that will benefit the friend and not Buchi and her girls. And who knows what will happen to the girl when she goes to the friend. Will life actually better for her or even worse?
It is important to take time reflect on what is presented to you before you accept it. It is important to not just take things at face value.
She gave up on herself that she couldn’t even think of any possible alternative. She lost all respect for herself because yes the daughter is gone but she and her other daughter are still there living with those wicked people. So is this a sustainable solution?
For the short story, “What it means when a man falls from the sky”, here are some of the takeaways from our group discussion:
One person noted that even in african sci fi there is still colonization again.
One person noted that ShopRite is there lol.
Some noted that they thought it was really clever.
Some noted that they like the idea of a formula that can take away grief/pain.
Some noted that it is interesting that even though it takes away the grief/pain, the people are still terrible to each other.
Some noted that this story is a reflection in a way of what is going on now. It made some people think that the Author is perhaps opining about Artificial Intelligence today and using these things properly and where is it leading us. Another mentioned, you see the colonizers coming back again and setting up their own institutions and taking over.
Another mentioned, is taking away grief taking away humanity.
Others mentioned it is an amazing power or skill. One person noted that they think it is good if it also naturally brought out the good in people. But since it does not do that then they think it should be limited; and the power should be held for those special circumstances like the little girl at the school where what she experienced is too horrific. Because sometimes when you go through something that bad some people are constantly drowning in their horror that they cannot even fathom how to have a good life.
Some noted the side effects of this power as you see the mathematician who jumped from the building and her ex-girlfriend at the end. Just like medications that pharmaceuticals give you to treat your symptoms but it is not getting to the root of the issue. And the side effects are worse than the original issue.
One perspective that was really great was: the title of this chapter and this book, shows what happens when we try to reach the sky when we are not ready.
Another responded that like tower in the bible when they tried to reach the heavens and it led to disaster.
One noted that this power is amazing and better than pharmaceuticals and they should learn to refine the formula so it doesn’t have side effects.
Some think she was not able to help her ex-girlfriend just like she couldn’t help her father. So for those who go out trying to help, they end up bringing the pain back into their own lives. And posed the question that this relates to real life, those who work with a lot of challenging situations, how do they process their work and return back into a healthy life? Like doctors, aid workers, social workers, nurses, etc. Seeing the pain the people they are working with go through then what happens? This shows that those people also need help too to be able to properly process and do their work well and still live healthy lives? More people elaborated on this by noting the following:
One noted what happens in the real world to our aid workers who see horrific things and what studies are out their on the quality of their lives after.
And just like the people who go to war and come back with PTSD.
And the aid workers and other people witnessing on the ground what is happening to the Palestinians or the Congolese or other places.
Here are some of the responses on which short story so far has been the favorite:
Buchi’s girls because it was an experience many have witnessed or experienced.
Second chances because it shows how some people handle second chances. Some don’t question it and just walk into the opportunity. Others question it and miss out on the opportunity.
Light because it is a really good look at the experience that many immigrant families experience with long distance relationships and having loved ones abroad (parents, grandparents, spouses, children, etc.).
Here are some of the fun responses from the group on what type of Sci-Fi story or movie would they make? And what african sci-fi stories have they seen.
Everyone had seen Black Panther
One person noted it would be cool if they made this into a movie.
One person watched a series on Netflix called Supacell which seems to be a British Nigerian science fiction show set in modern day London where a group of five ordinary Black British people, each have a history of the sickle cell disease in their family. Except for these 5 people, the sickle cell trait has turned into some sort of super cell in their bodies that gives them superpowers and there is a secret organization who tries to kidnap them and control them.
One idea mentioned was: Africa achieving real independence and knowing its worth and being a first world continent.
One person mentioned doing something similar to Black Panther with a different take.
One person mentioned something that addresses how africans who want to study our culture like voodoo would be frowned upon but there are Europeans and other cultures coming for years to study our histories and cultures. And then improve on it while we ignore it.
Some mentioned the stories from our culture where we have all heard stories of people flying or talking to someone through telepathy. And those who had this knowledge are gone. [So perhaps true stories 😊 and not science fiction].
Lastly some of the topics that arose around current events in the general discussion group included:
Most importantly, we observed that our meeting was held on Kwame Nkrumah’s birthday (September 21, 1909) and how wonderful since his book is next on our reading list.
Some shared the latest news going on in Ghana around Ghana receiving deportees from the United States in light of the United State’s anti-immigrant policy for people of color and what message is it sending. And also that Ghana’s process in doing it without Parliament approval first. And that many of these U.S. deportees have no ties in Africa and rather have more ties in the U.S. or their actual country of origin.
WEEK FOUR SUMMARY
SHORT STORIES:
GLORY
WHAT IS A VOLCANO
REDEMPTION
[English version] Some of the Prompts and Questions Discussed in Ɛʋɛ - Ewe:
Glory: what do you think of Glory’s relationship with her grandfather? Why does she like visiting him?
Glory: What do you think of her grandfather’s advice to her – “tricking the gods”?
Glory: Why do you think Thomas likes her?
Glory: What decision do you think Glory made at the end?
What is a volcano: What do you think of this story?
What is a volcano: What do you think of the part when the author writes for River’s sister that “Guilt crushed every milestone in her life to dust so that she new only Before and After. And Before seemed like the unfathomable dream of a foolish woman.”
Redemption: What do you think of this story?
We also discussed the first portion of the video interview of the writer, Lesley Nneka Arimah interview/talk at Strand Book Store in 2018, HERE on YouTube.
[English version] Highlights from the Group Discussion in Ɛʋɛ - Ewe:
For the short story, “Glory”, here are some of the takeaways from our group discussion:
Glory and the grandfather understand each other very well and they know whatever is coming from each other is the truth. So, they appreciate each other. They know they will always get the truth from each person.
Glory trusts her grandfather because he is straightforward.
Glory likes that her grandfather sees her for who she is and does not try to sugar coat it.
When the grandfather tells her to trick the gods, here are some of the responses shared:
Some thought perhaps the grandfather was telling her to go to the local gods and make an offering and appease them and ask to help her with her troubles.
Others thought the story of the tortoise and porcupine was actually about a bad spirit and the tortoise and porcupine defeated the spirit. So, he was telling her that she can overcome anything.
Others thought that the grandfather has made it clear that he has no hope for her. So, he thinks he has given her the best piece of advice that he can which is that she just needs to fake it.
When it came to why Thomas likes her, here were some of the responses:
Some were suspicious of him. He seems to also be wearing a mask, and he is not being honest or truthful because any man who has values would not be interested in Glory. Maybe he thinks Glory will be easy to manipulate or control.
Some thought it is just because they are both Nigerian and that was enough for Thomas and perhaps there were not a lot of other prospects for him.
Some thought perhaps it was spiritual attraction like naturally ordained.
Here are some of the responses on what decision Glory made by the end of the story:
Some thought that because she always makes bad decisions for herself that she made another wrong decision and said Yes to Thomas even though it is clear she will not be happy in that marriage.
Others thought if Glory was being her usual self-sabotaging self, then she would have said no because she thinks Thomas is too good for her.
Others thought she said no because she isn’t ready to get married and have children, so this is one time she made a decision not trying to please her parents.
Others thought to be rebellious to her parents she said no because she knows they would like him.
For the short story, “What is a volcano”, here are some of the takeaways from our group discussion:
Some commented that volcanos bring disaster and you see the gods in this story trying to destroy each other and in the end no one succeeded and everyone suffers.
Others commented about “underestimating a small problem” such as River underestimating Ant like what can an ant do.
Others commented how your own pride and insecurities can destroy yourself. And a reminder there are vulnerable people too like the young girl at the end that Ant takes advantage of.
Some thought the end about the girl and girls who obey was interesting. The girl kept a secret just because she is obedient. And how some people do things just because they are told to respect an adult or because it is what is done even though it goes against their soul.
In response to the part of this story where the author writes about River’s sister that “Guilt crushed every milestone in her life to dust so that she new only Before and After. And Before seemed like the unfathomable dream of a foolish woman.” Here are some of the comments:
It is true, people can get so lost in their tragedy they forget what a good life can and should be for themselves. Being happy seems unrealistic. Having a job that brings you joy and inspires your soul seems unrealistic. Being healthy seems unrealistic. Being in a healthy relationship seems unrealistic. Having a balanced life seems unrealistic. Having financial abundance seems unrealistic. They are so used to their low life they just stay there. They are so used to stress they say that is just how it is. This is when you have lost your connection to God or faith.
For the short story, “Redemption”, here are some of the takeaways from our group discussion:
Some commented that the main character was drawn to Mayowa’s courage and braveness because after she was assaulted by the youth leader at church and no one believed her, after that she felt powerless. To the point she was wetting the bed.
Some thought she was hoping by being friends with Mayowa that she would feel like she has some dignity again. Like she can have a full joyful life. But by the end, she saw that Mayowa was not there to be her saviour. Mayowa, even though she is courageous, she is just a child too that is trying to survive her circumstances.
Here are some of the items that came up after watching the video interview, specifically talking about parent child relationships:
Most africans and immigrants all want the best for their children. And the common knowledge is that education is the way to have good living. And hoping that this will pave the way for them for a good living. So the parents feel like that is their duty. For some kids it works because those careers were already in their heart so it works out but we see it isn’t for all kids. So there needs to be flexibility and taking time to understand our children.
Others felt that this is just a lesson learned for parents and children all over the world regardless of culture. There are habits passed on and maybe there are other ways to look at things.
This discussion also brought up a healthy debate about being mindful about the names we give our children. In the short story “Glory”, the character’s name is “Glorybetogod” and there was some lovely lively discussion whether her parents did right by her or not.
Lastly some of the topics that arose around current events in the general discussion group included:
Some mentioned the UN assembly gathering and the Prime Minister of Barbados and her speech and the President of Ghana, President Mahama’s speech too and also the President of Colombia. That these are good to check out. Here are links to each of these speeches and where to learn more about this UN assembly gathering, the 80th Session of the United Nations General Assembly:
Full Statement of the President of Ghana to the 80th Session of the United Nations General Assembly can be found HERE on the UN’s website.
The video and audio of his speech can be found HERE on YouTube.
Prime Minister of Barbados, Mia Amor Mottley: her speech can be found HERE on YouTube.
Colombian President Gustavo Petro Urrego: his speech can be found HERE on YouTube.
SUMMARY OF OUR GATHERINGS ON THIS BOOK:
This Book raised a lot of great discussion. While there were some challenging aspects of this book and unpleasant topics, we were able to have a really fruitful discussion as a group and healthy lively debate.
We encourage you to review the videos and notes we shared each week and share any comments below.